Webster-noun. a moderate degree of wetness, especially of the atmosphere.
MamaHen-noun. that which causes you to look like a drowned rat after being outside for only two minutes on a southern summer day. I mean why bother fixing yourself up? After you step outside you will immediately begin to droop and all your makeup will begin to melt. Fix your hair? Ha, Ha. Only rookies do that. Just pull it back in a ponytail. The ponytail will wilt also, but no one will notice because of the little rivets of makeup that are streaming down your face.
Chiggers (aka redbugs)
Webster-noun. a six-legged mite larva (family Trombuiculidae) that sucks the blood of vertebrae and causes intense irritation
MamaHen-noun. little invisible disgusting foul creatures from the Bad Place that make life miserable for anyone who has to go outside for more than five minutes. Heavens forbid that you try to do some weeding or pick your berries that your husband so lovingly planted for you. Or you are a small child who loves to play in the outdoors. Or a big kid who likes to climb a tree on occasion. Chiggers have no respect for anyone. Listen, if you live here in the South and haven't dealt with chiggers yet then I need to question your southern-hood. Now, if we could only work together to find a solution to these nasty terrible beasts and send them back to the Pit where they belong, we could live in harmony together in the outdoors. Well, after we deal with the gnats, mosquitoes, and snakes. But chiggers are first on my list.
Just needed to get that off my mind.
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